JumpyStar wrote a Xanga entry called "Breathe" and I'm stealing it.

Some people have asked if I'm stressing because the wedding is around the corner.  I'm OK.  That doesn't mean that when I ask Kevin what he thinks of something or I mention to him that something needs to get done, the unsaid window for completion is usually within the next few minutes to hours... no longer the few days or the casual "sweetie, when you can".  Same for him.  If he asks me to do something, I best get on it right away. 

I'm doing an OK job of staying on top of wedding things.  However, I do need distractions now and again.  Here's one such distraction from the comedy issue of GQ magazine (August 2008).  They made a list of the things that were most and least funny.  Having some familiarity w/ Seattle, I think the following assessment is amusing.  However, as I plan elements of my wedding whose successful execution depends on my personal charisma and humor, I can't help but feel somewhat aligned with Seattle.  Are we both not funny?

Least funny city: Seattle

... You know what's not funny? San Francisco.  Talking earnestly about couples yoga or sustainable-resource management just isn't funny.  It is true that gay men are funny, but San Francisco is more of a lesbian.  And whatever Rosie says, lesbians aren't funny.  They're mad, and they want to be listened to.  And you know who's a bigger lesbian than San Francisco?  You know what you'd get if you took San Francisco and squeezed out the residue of humor?  Seattle.  It's rainy and progressive and almost kind of European.  It's Norway on the Pacific.  Norwegians should design wind farms and plan the health care system, but they many not roast people at the Friars Club.  Seattle is famous for its "artisanal" coffee roasters, and if there's a better way to make something not funny than to put the words artisanal or fringe in front of it, I don't know what it is.  Seattle (and by "Seattle" we also mean "Portland") might be a great city for a WTO demonstration, but going out for beers afterward would be sadder than tear gas.  Seattle, you can babysit our kids, you can help us start our compost program, but please, please don't come up to us at happy hour.  We're just trying to have a good time.

-- Devin Friedman

My friends Brian and Joanna have shown me quite a few things that have just keeled me over with laughter.  First is an email forward that I continue to find (with amusement and chagrin) hits too close to home.

Be sure to read both parts!

INSTALLING A HUSBAND 
 
Dear Tech support, 
 
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. 
 
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. 
 
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning  2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. 
 
What can I do? 
 
Signed,

Desperate. 
 
 
DEAR DESPERATE, 
 
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
 

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.HTML and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. 
  
But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. 
 
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) 
 
Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. 
 
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7. 
 
Good Luck, 
 
Tech Support